Being around pro people all the time can be really annoying, especially when one is not very pro. I spent this entire term being envious of other people’s proness - it started of as admiration, but later gave way to envy and self doubt. But then I realized that this is an absolutely pathetic state of being. Self doubt and envy wasn’t getting me anywhere, and in fact doubting myself was increasing the gap between my friends and me, since I stopped attempting to become more pro; my line of reasoning was “What’s the point? I’ll never be as pro as the others”. Looking back, that was a pathetic way of thinking – giving up is clearly not the way.
I realize now that the only solution to my unproness is proness. I need to be more pro, and it is my belief that proness in a field comes from passion – if I am passionate about something, then eventually I will become pro at it. Self doubt is nothing more that doubting one’s passion – I promise to myself not to doubt my passion ever again, especially my passion for math.
One might think that what’s the point of making such a promise when you know you are going to break it, but not making the promise is even more pathetic than making a promise knowing you will break it.
